1 00:00:01,802 --> 00:00:04,336 CAPTIONING MADE POSSIBLE BY U.S. DEPARTMENT OF EDUCATION 2 00:00:04,404 --> 00:00:06,771 AND NICKELODEON 3 00:00:06,840 --> 00:00:09,241 CAPTIONED BY THE NATIONAL CAPTIONING INSTITUTE --www.ncicap.org-- 4 00:00:26,960 --> 00:00:27,960 [CRASH!] 5 00:00:34,635 --> 00:00:37,535 AH HA HA HA HA HA! 6 00:00:47,347 --> 00:00:48,613 I'M GONNA BE A DOCTOR! 7 00:00:48,682 --> 00:00:49,982 I'LL BE A VETERINARIAN. 8 00:00:50,050 --> 00:00:51,683 I WANNA BE A FIREMAN! 9 00:00:51,752 --> 00:00:54,953 AND I WILL BE... 10 00:00:55,022 --> 00:00:56,822 LORD OF ALL HUMANS! 11 00:00:58,692 --> 00:01:00,892 I'M GOING TO BE A PROFESSIONAL PARANORMAL INVESTIGATOR, 12 00:01:00,961 --> 00:01:01,926 SO THAT I CAN EXPOSE... 13 00:01:01,995 --> 00:01:03,795 HEY, I WASN'T FINISHED. 14 00:01:03,864 --> 00:01:07,099 WHEN I GROW UP, I'M GONNA BE A ASTRONAUT. 15 00:01:07,168 --> 00:01:09,100 WHEN I WAS YOUR AGE, 16 00:01:09,169 --> 00:01:12,404 I WANTED TO BE AN ASTRONAUT, TOO, MELVIN. 17 00:01:16,143 --> 00:01:19,077 AND THEN MY SHIP IMPLODED 18 00:01:19,146 --> 00:01:20,812 IN THE VACUUM OF SPACE. 19 00:01:23,250 --> 00:01:28,921 THE LESSON HERE IS THAT DREAMS INEVITABLY LEAD TO HIDEOUS IMPLOSIONS. 20 00:01:28,989 --> 00:01:31,490 THAT'S WHY THE SCHOOL HAS INSTITUTED THIS TEST. 21 00:01:31,558 --> 00:01:35,794 FROM THESE QUESTIONS, WE WILL DETERMINE YOUR FUTURE CAREERS. 22 00:01:35,863 --> 00:01:38,096 THEN YOU WILL BE PARTNERED WITH AN ADULT 23 00:01:38,165 --> 00:01:39,765 WHO WORKS IN YOUR FIELD. 24 00:01:39,833 --> 00:01:41,934 YOU WILL SPEND THE REST OF THE DAY 25 00:01:42,002 --> 00:01:45,337 OBSERVING THEM AND GETTING USED TO YOUR WRETCHED FATES. 26 00:01:45,406 --> 00:01:48,172 WRITE WHAT YOU THINK EACH BLOTCH LOOKS LIKE 27 00:01:48,241 --> 00:01:49,841 ON THE LINE NEXT TO IT. 28 00:01:49,909 --> 00:01:52,210 ANSWER EACH ONE CAREFULLY. 29 00:01:52,279 --> 00:01:54,112 YOUR FUTURE DEPENDS ON IT. 30 00:01:55,316 --> 00:01:56,748 WHAT DOES IDENTIFYING BLOTCHES 31 00:01:56,817 --> 00:01:58,717 HAVE TO DO WITH DETERMINING OUR FUTURE CAREERS? 32 00:01:58,786 --> 00:02:01,285 OH, YOU POOR, DOOMED CHILD. 33 00:02:02,556 --> 00:02:04,156 [THINKING] HUMAN SLAVE. 34 00:02:04,224 --> 00:02:06,558 HUMAN SLAVE. 35 00:02:14,634 --> 00:02:15,600 GHOST. 36 00:02:15,669 --> 00:02:17,235 BIGFOOT. 37 00:02:20,507 --> 00:02:23,675 TIME'S UP. PASS YOUR PAPERS FORWARD! 38 00:02:23,743 --> 00:02:25,777 UH...UH... 39 00:02:36,623 --> 00:02:40,291 THE MACHINE WILL NOW DECIDE YOUR FATE. 40 00:02:44,398 --> 00:02:46,197 BRIAN, YOU'RE GOING TO BE A FIREMAN. 41 00:02:46,266 --> 00:02:48,166 BUT I WANTED TO BE A DOCTOR. 42 00:02:48,235 --> 00:02:50,969 QUIET! THE MACHINE HAS SPOKEN! 43 00:02:51,038 --> 00:02:53,771 SARAH, YOU ARE GOING TO BE AN ASTRONAUT. 44 00:02:53,840 --> 00:02:58,009 WAAAAAHHH! 45 00:02:58,078 --> 00:03:01,045 SPOON, YOU WILL BE A VETERINARIAN. 46 00:03:01,114 --> 00:03:02,714 BUT I'M ALLERGIC TO ANIMALS. 47 00:03:02,782 --> 00:03:05,617 DIB, YOU WILL BE A ... 48 00:03:05,686 --> 00:03:07,786 PARANORMAL INVESTIGATOR. 49 00:03:07,854 --> 00:03:09,588 YES! 50 00:03:09,657 --> 00:03:14,158 ZIM, THE MACHINE SAYS THAT THE ONLY CAREER YOU ARE SUITABLE FOR IS... 51 00:03:14,227 --> 00:03:16,728 YES, YES, LORD OF HUMANS! 52 00:03:16,797 --> 00:03:19,898 I WILL RULE YOU ALL WITH AN IRON FIST! 53 00:03:19,967 --> 00:03:22,134 NO, ZIM. 54 00:03:22,202 --> 00:03:26,438 THE MACHINE HAS ASSIGNED YOU A CAREER IN FAST FOOD PREPARATION. 55 00:03:26,506 --> 00:03:29,240 I WILL PREPARE FOOD WITH MY IRON FIST. 56 00:03:29,309 --> 00:03:33,211 THEN I WILL WORK MY WAY UP TO RULING YOU ALL WITH MY FIST! 57 00:03:33,280 --> 00:03:35,413 YOU, OBEY THE FIST. 58 00:03:35,482 --> 00:03:38,183 [GROWLS] 59 00:03:42,055 --> 00:03:44,522 NOW, CHILDREN, FIND YOUR PARTNER. 60 00:03:47,327 --> 00:03:49,427 [MEOW!] 61 00:04:00,440 --> 00:04:02,273 WHAT'S THE MATTER WITH YOUR NECK, ZIM? 62 00:04:02,342 --> 00:04:03,841 SOME KIND OF ALIEN SPORE? 63 00:04:03,910 --> 00:04:05,143 OF COURSE NOT. 64 00:04:05,212 --> 00:04:07,512 WHERE CAN I FIND ZIM? 65 00:04:07,581 --> 00:04:10,382 I AM ZIM. TAKE ME TO THE MEAT. 66 00:04:10,450 --> 00:04:13,518 OH, YOU'RE NOT READY FOR MEAT PREPARATION YET. 67 00:04:13,586 --> 00:04:15,520 WE START WITH THE FRENCH FRIES. 68 00:04:15,589 --> 00:04:17,922 WHEN WE GET PROMOTED, WE WORK WITH MEAT. 69 00:04:17,991 --> 00:04:20,091 LOOKS LIKE I'LL BE GETTING TEAMED UP 70 00:04:20,160 --> 00:04:22,660 WITH A RESPECTED PARANORMAL INVESTIGATOR, ZIM. 71 00:04:22,729 --> 00:04:24,596 HE'S SURE TO SEE THROUGH YOUR PITIFUL DISGUISE. 72 00:04:24,664 --> 00:04:26,731 AND THEN WE'LL TAKE YOU BACK TO HIS SECRET LAB 73 00:04:26,800 --> 00:04:28,833 AND THEN WE'LL PERFORM ALL KINDS OF TESTS ON YOU-- 74 00:04:28,902 --> 00:04:30,335 HORRIBLE TESTS! 75 00:04:30,403 --> 00:04:31,669 SEE YA. 76 00:04:31,738 --> 00:04:35,407 LET'S TALK MORE ABOUT THESE--PROMOTIONS. 77 00:04:35,475 --> 00:04:38,176 NOT NOW. MY BREAK'S ALMOST OVER. 78 00:04:49,456 --> 00:04:50,488 AAAHHH! 79 00:04:59,333 --> 00:05:01,333 PSST, YOUR NAME DIB? 80 00:05:01,402 --> 00:05:02,334 YES. 81 00:05:02,402 --> 00:05:03,534 CALL ME BILL. 82 00:05:03,603 --> 00:05:05,336 I'VE GOT SOMETHING TO SHOW YOU. 83 00:05:05,405 --> 00:05:06,972 THERE'S AN ACTUAL ALIEN IN MY CLASS AND I HAVE... 84 00:05:07,041 --> 00:05:08,507 SLOW DOWN, LITTLE MAN. 85 00:05:08,575 --> 00:05:10,975 TODAY, YOU'RE GOING TO SEE THINGS THAT ARE GOING TO 86 00:05:11,044 --> 00:05:12,844 CHANGE THE WAY YOU LOOK AT THE WORLD. 87 00:05:12,912 --> 00:05:14,879 KEEP YOUR EYES AND YOUR MIND... 88 00:05:14,948 --> 00:05:16,447 OPEN. 89 00:05:16,516 --> 00:05:18,082 IT'S PRETTY OPEN. 90 00:05:18,151 --> 00:05:20,018 I JUST WANNA... 91 00:05:20,087 --> 00:05:21,353 NO MORE TALKING. 92 00:05:21,422 --> 00:05:22,520 LET'S ROLL. 93 00:05:38,472 --> 00:05:40,638 8 BILLION?! 94 00:05:40,707 --> 00:05:43,274 THAT IS MORE THAN THE ENTIRE POPULATION. 95 00:05:43,343 --> 00:05:46,511 AND THEY ALL SERVE MacMEATIE? 96 00:05:46,580 --> 00:05:49,414 IF I RULE MacMEATIE'S, 97 00:05:49,483 --> 00:05:51,049 I RULE THE WORLD. 98 00:05:53,853 --> 00:05:56,788 YOU WANNA BE VERY CAREFUL NOT TO TOUCH ANY OF THE GREASE 99 00:05:56,857 --> 00:05:58,657 'CAUSE IT'S KIND OF HOT. 100 00:05:58,726 --> 00:06:01,092 AND THEN, YOU ADD THE MEAT SEASONING. 101 00:06:01,160 --> 00:06:02,827 FASCINATING! 102 00:06:02,895 --> 00:06:04,829 AND ONCE I HAVE MASTERED THE FRENCH FRIES, 103 00:06:04,898 --> 00:06:06,231 WHAT IS THE NEXT PROMOTION? 104 00:06:06,300 --> 00:06:08,966 AFTER FRIES, YOU GET TO WORK THE GRILL. 105 00:06:09,035 --> 00:06:11,970 AND THEN, HOW MANY PROMOTIONS UNTIL I AM MADE 106 00:06:12,039 --> 00:06:13,271 RULER OF THE PLANET? 107 00:06:13,340 --> 00:06:14,806 ABOUT 4. 108 00:06:17,611 --> 00:06:19,777 THE CORPORATIONS ARE BEHIND A LOT OF THE CONSPIRACIES, 109 00:06:19,846 --> 00:06:23,481 BUT THE GOVERNMENT, THEY'RE JUST ONE BIG CONSPIRACY LED BY... 110 00:06:23,550 --> 00:06:24,883 WHAT ARE THESE? 111 00:06:24,952 --> 00:06:26,451 OH, CASE FILES. I BROUGHT THEM ALONG 112 00:06:26,520 --> 00:06:28,753 TO SHOW YOU THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN THE SERIOUS PARANORMAL 113 00:06:28,821 --> 00:06:29,955 AND THE FRAUDS. 114 00:06:30,023 --> 00:06:31,823 THE TOP BUNDLE ARE THE REAL ONES. 115 00:06:31,892 --> 00:06:33,992 THE BOTTOM ONES ARE ALL COMPLETE BUNK. 116 00:06:37,664 --> 00:06:38,796 FRANKENCHOKEY. 117 00:06:43,036 --> 00:06:44,435 THEY'RE FILED WRONG. 118 00:06:44,504 --> 00:06:46,838 YOU'VE GOT BIGFOOT AND DINOSAURS IN WITH THE FAKE STUFF. 119 00:06:46,907 --> 00:06:48,974 YOU THINK THOSE THINGS ARE REAL? 120 00:06:49,042 --> 00:06:50,876 THAT'S EXACTLY WHAT THEY WANT YOU TO BELIEVE. 121 00:06:50,944 --> 00:06:54,012 THAT'S WHAT WHO WANTS ME TO BELIEVE? 122 00:06:58,718 --> 00:07:00,285 WHAT'S THIS? 123 00:07:00,353 --> 00:07:02,687 THE GALACTIC EQUINOX THEORY. 124 00:07:02,755 --> 00:07:04,189 AT 5 O'CLOCK TONIGHT, 125 00:07:04,257 --> 00:07:05,824 THE GALAXIES ARE GOING TO BE PERFECTLY LINED UP. 126 00:07:05,893 --> 00:07:08,326 MY COLLEAGUES BELIEVE THAT THIS WILL CAUSE 127 00:07:08,394 --> 00:07:10,528 ALL THE ALIENS THAT ARE LIVING OFF THEIR OWN PLANET 128 00:07:10,597 --> 00:07:12,497 TO GO THROUGH A HIDEOUS MOLT FOR A FEW SECONDS. 129 00:07:12,566 --> 00:07:14,065 DON'T READ THAT GARBAGE. 130 00:07:14,134 --> 00:07:16,100 THAT RASH ON ZIM'S NECK! 131 00:07:16,169 --> 00:07:17,468 WE'VE GOT TO GET TO MacMEATIE'S! 132 00:07:17,537 --> 00:07:18,737 I KNOW WHERE THERE'S AN ALIEN 133 00:07:18,805 --> 00:07:19,938 AND HE'S GOING THROUGH THE MOLT RIGHT NOW! 134 00:07:20,006 --> 00:07:21,305 IT'S OUR CHANCE TO PROVE THAT THERE'S-- 135 00:07:21,374 --> 00:07:22,774 SHH! WE'RE HERE. 136 00:07:34,287 --> 00:07:35,754 A CROP CIRCLE? 137 00:07:35,823 --> 00:07:37,556 BEAUTIFUL, ISN'T IT? 138 00:07:37,624 --> 00:07:38,857 IT'S A MESSAGE FROM CREATURES 139 00:07:38,926 --> 00:07:40,158 MUCH MORE INTELLIGENT THAN US. 140 00:07:40,227 --> 00:07:42,360 SPACE BEINGS WHO HAVE TRAVELED MILLIONS OF LIGHT YEARS 141 00:07:42,429 --> 00:07:43,895 TO SAY SOMETHING. 142 00:07:43,963 --> 00:07:46,164 BUT WHAT DOES IT MEAN? 143 00:07:46,233 --> 00:07:48,299 I...THINK THIS ONE'S A FAKE. 144 00:07:48,368 --> 00:07:51,135 YOU'RE ONE OF THOSE SKEPTICS, AREN'T YOU? 145 00:07:51,204 --> 00:07:53,972 ALWAYS QUESTIONING. ALWAYS PICKING AWAY AT MY THEORIES! 146 00:07:54,041 --> 00:07:55,874 ONE DAY, YOU'LL SEE THAT... 147 00:07:55,943 --> 00:07:59,910 [MOOING AND BELL RINGING] 148 00:08:03,816 --> 00:08:06,484 NOW CAN WE GO TO MacMEATIE'S, PLEASE? 149 00:08:17,197 --> 00:08:20,297 NEED PORK, DADDY! 150 00:08:20,366 --> 00:08:21,733 ECCCHH! 151 00:08:21,802 --> 00:08:24,235 COME ON. WE'RE IN A HURRY HERE! 152 00:08:24,303 --> 00:08:26,270 WE HAVE TO MAKE IT TO THE OBSERVATORY BY 5 153 00:08:26,339 --> 00:08:27,972 SO WE CAN WATCH THE EQUINOX! 154 00:08:28,041 --> 00:08:30,642 THE EQUINOX IS TONIGHT?! 155 00:08:30,710 --> 00:08:32,711 YUH-HUH. 156 00:08:32,779 --> 00:08:35,146 YUH-HUH, EH-HEH, MM-HMM, 157 00:08:35,215 --> 00:08:37,148 UH-HUH, MM-HMM. YUH-HUH. 158 00:08:40,220 --> 00:08:42,020 NO! THE MOLT! 159 00:08:43,289 --> 00:08:44,622 I HAVE TO GO HOME. 160 00:08:44,690 --> 00:08:47,893 IF YOU TAKE OFF, IT'LL BE IN YOUR FILE FOREVER 161 00:08:47,961 --> 00:08:50,227 AND YOU'LL NEVER GET PROMOTED. 162 00:08:50,296 --> 00:08:52,897 I'VE COME TOO FAR TO GIVE UP NOW. 163 00:08:52,966 --> 00:08:54,665 I MUST NOT UPSET MacMEATIE. 164 00:08:54,734 --> 00:08:56,300 SO CLOSE TO PROMOTION, 165 00:08:56,369 --> 00:08:58,670 BUT I NEED TO TAKE A BREAK AT 5 O'CLOCK. 166 00:08:58,739 --> 00:09:01,339 YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO TALK TO THE SHIFT CAPTAIN ABOUT THAT. 167 00:09:07,447 --> 00:09:09,480 IT'S 4:45. IF WE HURRY, WE CAN MAKE IT! 168 00:09:09,549 --> 00:09:13,184 HMM. THE ALIENS MUST BE CONTROLLING THE COW. 169 00:09:13,253 --> 00:09:16,721 THAT IS NOT A SUPERNATURAL COW! 170 00:09:16,789 --> 00:09:18,022 THIS IS RIDICULOUS! 171 00:09:18,090 --> 00:09:19,390 YOU BELIEVE IN ALL THE STUPIDEST THINGS 172 00:09:19,459 --> 00:09:21,759 WHEN REAL PROOF IS RIGHT UNDER YOUR NOSE! 173 00:09:23,263 --> 00:09:25,063 I BET YOU'D LISTEN TO ME IF I WERE TALKING ABOUT... 174 00:09:25,132 --> 00:09:27,465 OH, I DON'T KNOW... COUNT COCOFANG. 175 00:09:27,533 --> 00:09:29,901 WHAT DO YOU KNOW ABOUT COUNT COCOFANG?! 176 00:09:29,970 --> 00:09:34,872 THAT HE'S GOING TO BE AT MacMEATIE'S AT 5 O'CLOCK. 177 00:09:34,941 --> 00:09:37,442 WE HAVEN'T GOT MUCH TIME. LET'S ROLL. 178 00:09:40,013 --> 00:09:42,313 I'VE BEEN FOLLOWING THE COCOFANG CASE FOR YEARS. 179 00:09:42,381 --> 00:09:43,848 EVERYBODY THINKS HE'S MADE UP, BUT HE'S NOT. 180 00:09:43,916 --> 00:09:45,750 ONCE I CATCH HIM, THE WORLD WILL KNOW 181 00:09:45,819 --> 00:09:47,252 WHAT I'VE KNOWN ALL ALONG. 182 00:09:47,321 --> 00:09:49,287 COUNT COCOFANG IS AN ACTUAL VAMPIRE. 183 00:09:49,356 --> 00:09:52,891 JUST AS FRANKENCHOKEY IS AN ACTUAL-- FRANKEN--THING. 184 00:09:52,960 --> 00:09:55,226 WE'RE ALMOST THERE! 185 00:09:55,294 --> 00:09:58,296 THAT'S IT, ZIM, YOUR ALIEN INFILTRATION STOPS HERE! 186 00:10:01,100 --> 00:10:03,334 Kids: YAY! 187 00:10:03,403 --> 00:10:05,603 OH, NO! 188 00:10:05,672 --> 00:10:08,973 BLUH! EAT COCOSPLODEES. 189 00:10:12,946 --> 00:10:15,480 YEAH! COCOFANG ROCKS! 190 00:10:16,683 --> 00:10:17,948 THERE HE IS! 191 00:10:20,320 --> 00:10:21,619 HE'S NOT A VAMPIRE! 192 00:10:21,688 --> 00:10:23,421 WE HAVE TO CATCH THE ALIEN! 193 00:10:27,560 --> 00:10:30,261 HEY! NO CUTTING! 194 00:10:30,329 --> 00:10:32,830 WE FINALLY MEET, COUNT COCOFANG. 195 00:10:32,899 --> 00:10:37,101 THE LINE STARTS BACK THERE. BLUH! 196 00:10:38,505 --> 00:10:40,605 IT'S JUST A GUY IN A VAMPIRE SUIT. 197 00:10:42,375 --> 00:10:44,275 COME ON, FANG. LET'S DANCE. 198 00:10:48,648 --> 00:10:51,516 HEY, SOME GUYS ARE CHASING AFTER COCOFANG! 199 00:10:57,757 --> 00:10:58,890 HAAH! 200 00:11:15,141 --> 00:11:16,274 [PEOPLE SCREAMING] 201 00:11:24,617 --> 00:11:27,752 NO! HELP! STOP! WAIT UP! 202 00:11:30,924 --> 00:11:34,225 I'LL GET YOU, FANG! 203 00:11:35,594 --> 00:11:37,728 NOOOOO! 204 00:11:42,969 --> 00:11:45,970 [OUT OF BREATH] I KNOW, LITTLE MAN. 205 00:11:46,039 --> 00:11:47,505 I FEEL YOUR PAIN. 206 00:11:47,574 --> 00:11:49,941 BUT ONE DAY, WE'LL CATCH HIM. 207 00:11:50,010 --> 00:11:52,910 ONE DAY, WE'LL CATCH... THE FANG. 208 00:11:52,979 --> 00:11:54,712 YOU JERK. 209 00:11:59,252 --> 00:12:00,351 YOU'RE FIRED!